Daughters daughters daughters

My daughters are beautiful. Yes, I may be biased, but I believe my daughters are beautiful. Many people have said Lucy, my older daughter (who is three), is gorgeous and should be in modeling. Many people also say that Matt (my husband) should be buying guns and going to target practice to keep all the boys away.

This infuriates me. Why does my husband need to go buy guns? Why does he need to go to target practice? How about instead of my husband chasing away prospective boyfriends we raise two girls who can take care of themselves? How about instead of my husband running off to target practice we raise two girls who have self-confidence and self-esteem and are able to pick out healthy partners?

Saying my husband needs to get guns to protect his daughters implies so many offensive things. It implies my daughters won’t be smart enough to pick out good partners. (Although, I admit they will more than likely pick at least one or two morons, that’s just part of growing up.) It also implies that my daughters cannot take care of themselves. It implies that my daughters will not possess the good judgment to select an appropriate partner.

As parents, we should not be running out to purchase shotguns. Instead, we should be making sure that we raise our daughters (and sons) to be self-aware, to know what they want and, most importantly, what they deserve in a partner. I hope that Matt and I will raise our children to have healthy self-esteem so that they can tell whether or not someone is worthy of their attention and affection.

I understand that people do not mean to be offensive when they tell Matt to go out and buy guns but it is such an antiquated way of “complimenting” our children. No one ever told us to go out and buy guns as a way of saying our son was good looking. No, instead they said “those ladies better watch out!” which is just as bad. Why would the girls need to watch out? Do you think my son is going to be a horrible boyfriend? Do you think he will be offensive or abusive? Do you think Matt and I will raise a man that has so little respect for women that they need to “watch out” for him? Again, I know people do not mean to offend and that it has traditionally been a compliment to the parents and child but c’mon people, how about we start thinking before we speak? How about we come up with new things to say as a compliment? How about we start complimenting things other than looks?

Having a newborn, I realize there is little for someone to compliment. After all, she just lies there, eats, sleeps, and poops. And, no, I do not expect you to compliment any of those attributes. But maybe instead of saying my husband needs to stock up on fire arms you simply comment on who you think she looks like or ask how she (or we) are doing.

My husband does not need to go buy an arsenal of guns and neither should girls be watching out for my son. We will raise our daughters and son to have high self-esteem, self-awareness, and respect for others. Please do not stop complimenting them, just think before you speak, and what it actually implies. Just because it has always been said, doesn’t mean it should keep being said.