Stay at Home Mom...???

Today is day nine of being a stay at home mom...but without the kids. That's right, I am currently a Stay at Home Mom but my kids aren't here with me. It's nothing ridiculously stupid like that woman who wants maternity leave but without the kids (I think she called it "me-ternity"; I call it a vacation). What is actually happening with me is this: I resigned from my job due to health concerns but we had already paid for daycare for Lucy until the end of this Friday and my oldest is in Kindergarten. SO I am enjoying two full weeks of being a Stay At Home Mom without the kids.

It really isn't as nice as it seems. For one, I am HORRIBLY sick. My health concerns involve me throwing up 6-12 times a day. I'm basically lying on the couch,  not tired but trying to sleep because at least when I sleep I don't throw up. I am racked with never ending guilt because even though I am home all day, I"m unable to get any chores done so my husband comes home from working a 10 hour shift only to be forced into being a single parent. He feeds the kids, does the dishes, bathes them and puts them to bed. Honestly, I have an incredible husband who has stepped up in unbelievable ways.

On the days I do feel well, I am able to get things done and on those days, I don't feel completely worthless. I do feel completely bored. And useless. What am I supposed to do all day?? I was never one of those girls/women who dreamt of being a stay at home mom. I did dream of having NOT to work but rather having the option of staying at home. Basically, I want to be a rich housewife from 1950. I want the money and the options that come along with the money. I want to volunteer hours or go on day trips with the kids or be able to enroll them in classes. But none of that is in our foreseeable future. So again, what am I supposed to do all day??

Once Lucy is home with me I will of course have more to do. And once school is out for the summer, I will have both kids at home with me. I have already planned out our daily/weekly schedules but I'm sure those will be thrown out the window by the second week. My sister-in-law stays at home with her kids and I honestly do not know how she does it without going crazy or giving her kids up for adoption. I know its easier for her, too, because she has lots of mom friends with kids her kids' age. Unfortunately, I do not have any mom friends here. How do you go about making friends at 30 years old? Is there a play group for me? A Tinder app for making friends? In a time that is based on technology, I fear no one knows how to interact on a face-to-face level anymore. Or maybe it's just that I don't know how to make "mom friends" or how to even socialize anymore with people who are strangers. Ugh, people are the worst.

So how do I make the most out of being a Stay at Home Mom? I feel Pinterest can only take me so far...before I lose my mind admist glitter and construction paper. I will stick to schedules as best as my kids will allow me but really, how many days can I go without losing my mind when all of my conversations revolve Ninja Turtles, Minnie Mouse, and superheroes? I need to talk politics and literature and things that are relevant in the real world! I need adult conversations. I need adult interaction. But how do I get that while being a stay at home mom who has no mom friends? Ugh. People are the worst.

I suppose I will just have to take this one day at time. And hope that my kids learn how to read The Times and debate properly before summer.